> > All men who have been married will attest to some real wisdom in this
> > email. In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
> >
> > KEEP YOUR WOMAN HAPPY!
> >
> > Do something she likes, and you get points.
> > Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
> > You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
> > Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive
> > guide to
> > the point system:
> >
> > SIMPLE DUTIES
> > You make the bed. (+1)
> > You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
> > You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
> > You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
> > But return with Beer. (-5)
> >
> > PROTECTIVE DUTIES
> > You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
> > You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
> > You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5) You pummel
> > it with an iron rod. (+10)
> > It's her pet Schnauzer. (-30)
> >
> > SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
> > You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
> > You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school
> > friend. (-2)
> > Named Tina (-10)
> > Tina is a dancer. (-20)
> > Tina has breast implants. (-40)
> >
> > HER BIRTHDAY
> > You take her out to dinner. (+2)
> > You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
> > Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
> > And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
> > It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
> > the
> > colors of your favorite team. (-10)
> >
> > A NIGHT OUT
> > You take her to a movie. (+1)
> > You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
> > You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
> > You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
> > It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
> > You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
> >
> > YOUR PHYSIQUE
> > You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
> > You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
> > You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
> > Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
> > You say to her, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)
> >
> > THE BIG QUESTION
> > She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
> > (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
> > You hesitate in responding. (-10)
> > You reply, "Where?" (-35)
> > You give any other response. (-40)
> >
> > COMMUNICATION
> > When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
> > looks
> > like a concerned expression. (+2)
> > You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
> > You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
> > She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
> > email. In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
> >
> > KEEP YOUR WOMAN HAPPY!
> >
> > Do something she likes, and you get points.
> > Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
> > You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
> > Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive
> > guide to
> > the point system:
> >
> > SIMPLE DUTIES
> > You make the bed. (+1)
> > You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
> > You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
> > You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
> > But return with Beer. (-5)
> >
> > PROTECTIVE DUTIES
> > You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
> > You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
> > You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5) You pummel
> > it with an iron rod. (+10)
> > It's her pet Schnauzer. (-30)
> >
> > SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
> > You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
> > You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school
> > friend. (-2)
> > Named Tina (-10)
> > Tina is a dancer. (-20)
> > Tina has breast implants. (-40)
> >
> > HER BIRTHDAY
> > You take her out to dinner. (+2)
> > You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
> > Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
> > And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
> > It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
> > the
> > colors of your favorite team. (-10)
> >
> > A NIGHT OUT
> > You take her to a movie. (+1)
> > You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
> > You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
> > You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
> > It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
> > You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
> >
> > YOUR PHYSIQUE
> > You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
> > You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
> > You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
> > Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
> > You say to her, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)
> >
> > THE BIG QUESTION
> > She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
> > (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
> > You hesitate in responding. (-10)
> > You reply, "Where?" (-35)
> > You give any other response. (-40)
> >
> > COMMUNICATION
> > When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
> > looks
> > like a concerned expression. (+2)
> > You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
> > You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
> > She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
