Subj: Lets pick on the Jews, Italians & Irish: 
> The
> Jewish Elbow…
>
>
>
> A
> Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is
> coming to visit with his wife.
>
> "You
> come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment
>301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push
>button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the
>right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When
>you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"
>
> "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons
> with my elbow?
>
> "What, you're coming empty
> handed?"
>
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
>
>
> Wise
> Italian
> Grandfather
>
> An
> old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson
> to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I
> wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so
> you will always remember
> me."
>
> "But
> grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave
> me your Rolex watch
> instead?"
>
> "You
> lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business,
> you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home
> and maybe a couple of bambinos."
>
> "Somma
> day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed
> with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to
> you watch and say, 'Time's up!'?
>
>
> ____________________________________________________
>
>
> Irish
> blonde...
>
> An
> attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the
> casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty
> thousand dollars in a single roll of the
> dice.
>
> She
> said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
> luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she
> stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an
> Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new
> clothes!"
>
> As
> the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and
> squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged
> each of the
> dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
> departed.
>
> The
> dealers stared at each other
> dumbfounded.
>
> Finally, one of
> them asked, "What did she roll?" The other
> answered, "I don't know - I thought you were
> watching."
>
> MORAL
> OF THE STORIES:
>
> Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men!
>
> The
> Jewish Elbow…
>
>
>
> A
> Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is
> coming to visit with his wife.
>
> "You
> come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment
>301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push
>button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the
>right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When
>you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"
>
> "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons
> with my elbow?
>
> "What, you're coming empty
> handed?"
>
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
>
>
> Wise
> Italian
> Grandfather
>
> An
> old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson
> to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I
> wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so
> you will always remember
> me."
>
> "But
> grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave
> me your Rolex watch
> instead?"
>
> "You
> lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business,
> you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home
> and maybe a couple of bambinos."
>
> "Somma
> day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed
> with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to
> you watch and say, 'Time's up!'?
>
>
> ____________________________________________________
>
>
> Irish
> blonde...
>
> An
> attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the
> casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty
> thousand dollars in a single roll of the
> dice.
>
> She
> said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
> luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she
> stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an
> Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new
> clothes!"
>
> As
> the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and
> squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged
> each of the
> dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
> departed.
>
> The
> dealers stared at each other
> dumbfounded.
>
> Finally, one of
> them asked, "What did she roll?" The other
> answered, "I don't know - I thought you were
> watching."
>
> MORAL
> OF THE STORIES:
>
> Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men!
>
